i've loved you for a thousand years, i'll love you for a thousand more
by slytherinlarrie
Summary: james/lily. based off the prompt 'we only remember each other in alternating lifetimes so every lifetime we have to find one another and convince each other that we're soul mates but half the time I won't believe you and half the time you're already dating someone else'
He's in the school cafeteria the first time he sees her. She's sitting with Sirius and Peter, wearing one of Sirius' leather jackets- the oldest one, that's more gray than black, with bright red patches sown into the elbows- and eating some pasta. Her hair is a flaming red, something that she carries with her through every lifetime, and when she looks up, and their eyes connect, his knees just about buckle underneath him. He remembers her, with everything inside of him, remembers how they fall in love in every life they share, and he's struck by how lucky he is this time, with how soon he's found her. He smiles at her, when he gets closer to the table she's sitting at, and she smiles back, her green eyes lighting up. There's the spark there, the little glint that tells him she remembers him too, even if she doesn't know it yet.

"James!" Peter calls out, grinning at him as James sits down next to Sirius, and across from her. "Where've you been?"

"Helping Lupin with his English assignment," James reminds him, shoving a mouthful of pasta in his mouth. "He was in the hospital over the weekend- something about not having enough sugar- so didn't get a chance until now to start it."

Peter nods, concern evident in his eyes. "Poor bloke," he says, and they're all silent for a moment, before Sirius jumps in his seat.

"Oh, James, this is Lily," he says, grinning at them both. "Lily Evans, from my gang made up of kids with terrible families, remember? She's transferred to this school, on account of fos- um, housing arrangements," he says, looking at Lily with worried eyes.

Lily rolls her eyes at Sirius. "It's a support group for children with difficult family situations Sirius, c'mon, we've been over this," she reprimands, and Sirius sighs.

"Tomato-tohmato," he says, with a wave of his hand. "Anyway, Lils, this is James Potter, who I live with now."

"I remember," she says softly, smiling at James. She's looking at him with a confused look in her eyes, and James hates it when it's his turn to be the one to remember; she's so much better at convincing him that they're meant to be, that they're soulmates. He's hopeless, and every other lifetime usually ends with her throwing food on his head or punching him in the stomach. "It's nice to finally meet you," she says, and her voice sends shivers down his spine. "Sirius has told me a lot about you and your group of friends."

James smirks. "All bad, I hope?"

Lily's answering smirk is the hottest thing James has ever seen, and if he wasn't sitting down, he'd surely be on the ground by now. "Hopefully not as bad as what _you've_ heard about _me_ ," she teases. The conversation slowly drifts back to Remus, with Sirius worrying over him missing lunch for homework.

"I made sure he ate a granola bar and had a can of coke, don't stress it," James says, hiding a grin at Sirius' antics.

Lily winks at James, before turning to Sirius and adopting a sugar sweet voice. "If you're so worried about your boyfriend, why don't you go bring him lunch?" she suggests, and Sirius nods absentmindedly.

"Maybe I should, Lils, thanks," he says, and they're all silent for a beat, before- "Hey! He's not my boyfriend, Evans, fuck off."

Lily giggles as Peter snorts behind his hands. "Might as well be," Peter mumbles, and James and Lily nod their agreement.

Sirius glowers at them all. "Oh c'mon Sirius, he's practically all you ever talk about," Lily says, her voice light and teasing. "I seem to recall you calling me on Wednesday night last week, drunk off your ass, reciting poetry about the shape of Remus' arse in-quote- 'those damn black skinny jeans, Lily, I'm literally going to die,' end quote." She winks at James as he laughs, and James is so utterly gone for her already, it's ridiculous.

Sirius' cheeks are almost as red as Lily's hair when he responds. "I hate you all, you're the worst friends in the world, and I hope you all burn in hell," he says, before storming off. Lily's practically on the floor laughing, and Peter's wheezing so hard through his giggles that James mentally reviews what he knows about CPR, just in case (which is nothing really, so Pete is on his own if he stops breathing) and James loves his friends, truly.

* * *

Lily fits into their group like she'd been there from the start. She takes over James' role of helping Remus with English assignments- which is probably for the best, considering she gets straight A's while barely lifting a finger, and James is lucky to scrape by with a C- and she spends every Sunday morning at Peter's house tutoring him in maths and then baking with him- they all enjoy cakes or cookies for breakfast for the next week, when James drives them to school each day- and she's as close with Sirius as ever, sleeping over all the time, and going on long walks with him when he just needs to get away.

Sometimes James comes home from football practice to find Sirius and Lily curled up in bed together, watching _Supernatural_ and throwing popcorn at each other, and James hears whispered conversations about broken families and estranged siblings coming from Sirius' bedroom at three in the morning, after she's climbed through his window. It breaks James' heart that two of his favourite people in the whole world have experienced so much pain, but he's so glad they have each other to help them through it.

And then there's her and James.

They get along fabulously, and James dumps Sirius as his partner in Phys Ed, because she's a fucking _demon_ when it comes to competition, and together they absolutely kick ass. They get asked to join their house' volleyball team in her first week at their school, and the team quickly goes from last place to second; Professor McGonnagall invites them both to tea in her office, and lets Lily take the trophy home with her.

She fits into his life in all the ways he didn't realise he needed her, and suddenly she's the sun his world revolves around and he can't take two steps without finding a hair tie she's left on the floor somewhere, and her perfume has stained it's way into his skin so much that he doesn't even bother with his own anymore.

She makes a group chat for all of them on Facebook, and sends them their daily horoscopes every morning- they all make fun of Peter for being a Gemini, and he leaves the chat in an angry fit at least once a day, with Remus always adding him back within minutes. James spends hours reading his horoscopes after he sees how _into_ it Lily is, and Sirius laughs for almost an hour when he finds James googling the compatibility of an Aquarius and an Aries (very high, he smugly reads).

Lily is all quick wit, and fire in her eyes. She stands up for what she believes in, and almost punches the man who shouts something racist at James one day in McDonalds. James and Sirius have to bodily hold her back from attacking him, and as James listens to her screaming at him about how _James is twice the man you could ever even hope to be, you ignorant twat_ he realises that he's completely and utterly in love with her.

"No shit," Peter says, later, when James confesses to him. "Didn't you know? We've all known since the first time you laid eyes on each other. You're almost as obvious as Sirius and Remus," he shrugs, wrinkling his nose in disgust, and James frowns.

"How did you know before me?" he asks, and Peter just laughs. Logically, James knew he was meant to fall in love with her, because he's James, and she's Lily, and that's just what they _do_ , lifetime after lifetime, but it still hit him like a truck to realise it. They've discussed this before, in a few of the lifetimes. Lily wondered once if they only fell in love because they had to, because they were destined to, not because they actually just _did_ it, because every time she's different, somewhat, and their situations are always difficult, but she doesn't change through the different lives, she's still Lily, she's still _his_.

"Because I'm not an idiot?" Peter returns, and James just sighs.

* * *

His parents throw a huge dress up party for Sirius on his eighteenth birthday, and Sirius loudly proclaims that the best possible present he received was James and Lily accidentally coming in matching costumes as Mr. and Mrs. Incredible.

James blushes a bright red when he realises, and Lily just laughs, jumping on his back. "Since you're meant to be super strong and all, you wont mind carrying me around for the rest of the night, right?" she asks, and her hair has fallen out of her pony-tail, and his tickling James' neck, and he's so far gone for her that he's not sure how long he can keep from screaming _we're meant to be together_ in her face. "My feet are hurting," she whimpers when he doesn't respond straight away, and James sighs.

Peter mimes whipping something when Lily looks away, and Remus laughs so hard that vodka comes shooting out of his nose.

"Real attractive," Lily deadpans, as everyone giggles.

"Sirius probably thinks so," Peter mumbles under his breath, and James almost drops Lily in laughter.

After the party is over, and everyone's gone home, the five of them end up drunk up on James' roof, lazily playing truth or dare. Mostly truth though, since nobody can be bothered actually getting up to do a dare. Lily's laying across Peter's lap, dangling her feet in James' lap, who's gently rubbing them for her, and Sirius and Remus are inching closer and closer to each other as the night goes on, steadily avoiding eye contact.

"Who was your first kiss?" Peter asks Sirius, when it's his turn. Remus turns a bright red, and James eyes him suspiciously.

"I-uh- I invoke the fifth," Sirius says, looking at Remus through the corner of his eyes, blushing as red as him. Lily snorts.

"You can't do that," she protests. "Just two seconds ago you made me tell you all about the time I got my period on _stage_ in front of my _entire primary school_!" Sirius snorts, and Lily flips him the bird.

"It was me," Remus says, a moment later. There's a beat of silence, before James beams at them.

"I knew it!" he crows. "It was at my thirteenth birthday party, wasn't it? When we played spin the bottle, and you two refused and disappeared for the night?" Lily claps her hands in delight.

"You two are the cutest," she proclaims, and Sirius sighs.

"Shut it, Red," he threatens, and Lily rolls her eyes.

"You know I'd normally not involve myself in somebody elses business," she starts off, pointedly ignoring everyone's eye rolls and murmured _yeah, sure Lil's._ "But this has gone on long enough that it's beginning to be painful."

"I've got no idea what you're talking about," Remus sniffs, but he's still bright red, so James knows he's lying.

"Oh, _come on_ ," he butts in. "You two are the most obvious, oblivious people I've ever met." Peter snorts, and when James turns to glare at him, he just smirks, and raises his eyebrows down to look at Lily, who frowns in confusion.

"James, don't," Sirius threatens, but James can feel the alcohol pumping through his veins, and if he can't be happy with Lily the way he wants, he's damn sure not going to sit around and watch his friends be single and sad too.

"No, Sirius, _you_ don't. You two are so in love, and we're all so aware of it, and you guys need to just sort yourselves out," he tells them, but he's looking in Lily's eyes the entire time.

Peter snorts again, and Lily elbows him in the gut. Sirius gives James the dirtiest look he's ever seen before, before standing up and climbing back inside. Remus sighs, and gives James his best _disappointed dad_ look.

James gulps. "I'm sorry Remus, truly, but it needed to be said."

Remus just sighs again. "James, you _know_ why I haven't said anything to him. You know he's all kinds of fucked up since his parents kicked him out for coming out. He's not ready for this."

Lily frowns. "Don't you think Sirius should get to decide that?" she asks, voice soft. "I mean- I know my situation isn't the same as his, but I know a lot about people protecting you from things they don't think you can handle. And I know Sirius can handle a lot more than even _he_ thinks he can."

Peter nods in agreement. "Give him a chance, Remus," he pleads, and Remus runs a hand through his hair.

"If this goes badly, I'm coming back and throwing you _all_ off this goddamn roof," he threatens, before following Sirius down into the house.

James gulps, and Peter looks a bit fearful, but Lily is completely unconcerned.

"They're made for each other," she says, voice sleepy. Her eyes are drifting shut as she snuggles into Peter, pulling James closer to them, and wrapping the blanket around all three of them. "They'll work it out."

James has his doubts, but in the morning, when they're all still alive, and Sirius and Remus are cuddled together in Sirius' bed, he thinks maybe he should take his own advice.

* * *

He brings it up a week later, when Sirius is at a doctor's appointment with Remus- something about his insulin levels being all out of whack- and they're holed up in James' room watching _The Time Travelers Wife_.

"Do you believe in soulmates?" he asks, because subtly has never exactly been his strong suit.

She raises her eyebrows at him from where she's huddled under a pile of white blankets, her hair fanning out over her shoulders like flames, and James is so mesmerised by her that it's actually disgusting. "I used to," she says, after a few minutes. "But I'm not sure anymore."

James thinks about her mum leaving, and her dad drinking. Thinks of her sister who wont return her calls, and her ex-best friend who fell in with the wrong crowd and broke her heart after she'd just begun stitching it back together. Thinks of the five foster families she's been with in the last year, and the amount of people that promise to stay with her and then leave anyway. She has so many reasons not to believe in true love, in love of any kind.

"Petunia used to say that soul mates were just made up thing that someone just invented to sell movies and romance novels," she says, voice soft. "That if it was real, we'd know it. That people wouldn't be unhappy, because they'd be with the one person in the whole world that was meant for them. That people wouldn't be with the wrong people, and relationships like my parents wouldn't happen."

She avoids James' eyes as she speaks, staring at the wall, and James frowns.

Because maybe she's right; maybe all the things he thinks he's remembering are just some ridiculous fantasy he's completely invented because he's so goddamn infatuated with her. There's not really any concrete proof that three lifetimes ago he was married to someone who wasn't her and she broke into his house in the dead of night with black paint on her face and convinced him to run away with her, or that five lifetimes ago, she was a police officer that arrested him for dressing up like the Hamburgler and stealing burgers from McDonalds, or that twelve lifetimes ago, they were both women and hid their love their entire lives, raising children with other men and only seeing each other for tea on Sunday afternoons after Church (there's one lifetime, one that feels like a half-remembered dream, and there's something about magical maps, and deer, and a little boy with her green eyes and his messy hair, but the only thing he can properly recall is a flash of green light and then nothing).

He's silent for the rest of the movie, pondering what she's said, wondering how to change her mind.

Lily turns to him when the movie finishes, and as the credits are rolling, she looks James dead in the eyes. "Maybe I was being harsh, before," she says, quietly. There's mascara stained into her cheeks, and her eyes are shining. "Maybe- I don't believe in fairy tales, not anymore, but there might be _something_ akin to true love, or soulmates. I think I have to believe that."

"Well, Remus and Sirius are a pretty good example," he says softly, and she giggles.

"Even if it did take them eight years to get their shit together," she says, rolling her eyes, and James laughs in agreement.

He reaches his hand out, and gently tilts her chin up, so he's looking her in the eyes. "I just thought you should know that true love _is_ real. Petunia's wrong- about everything that she says, mostly, but about this for sure- because there's no way that w- Sirius and Remus aren't soul mates."

Lily blinks at him, and bites her lip. "James," she says, and her voice breaks on that one word.

"I love you," he tells her, words falling out of his mouth before he has the chance to cram them back in. "Lily, I'm so goddamn in love with you that I can't even think straight. You're the best person I've ever met, and you make me a better person too, I think, and you're funny, and you're friends with my friends, and not in the annoying way where you feel like you have to be because we're friends or anything stupid, but in the way that I'm not entirely sure that they'd pick my side if I fuck this up, and your eyes are brighter in the morning when you wake up and you look like a goddamn Christmas card with your hair, but you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my whole life, and-"

Lily launches herself forward and kisses James, pushing him back into the mattress. His lips open in surprise and she swipes her tongue across his bottom lip as he tangles his hands in her hair. She pulls away a second later, and when she opens her eyes, and looks into James', he knows that she remembers.

"It's you," she says, a grin spreading across her face. "Oh my _god_ , it's you, James," she says, kissing him again.

"Yeah Lil," he says, into the kiss. "It's me."


End file.
